Girlfriends Who Get It

When I put goal #20 (foster a group of girlfriends who get it) I wasn't quite sure what my intentions were. As I'm getting closer to B Day I'm starting to realize that it is probably one of the most important goals I put on my list.

It's funny looking back on my 20s and seeing how my relationships with girlfriends have evolved.  In my early 20s my girlfriends (also known as drinking buddies) and I spent a lot of time bickering, backstabbing and cat fighting in the streets of Denver ... that is when we weren't waxing poetic while drunk. We were selfish people using friendships to get what we wanted without any second thought to what our friends might need aside from someone holding their hair back.

As I approached my mid 20s I started weeding out the random drinking buddies from people I had shared passion with; people I really wanted to spend my time with. I threw myself into those friendships with aspirations that we'd become our own version of Denver's "Sex in the City" ... well minus the money, high-fashion clothes and undemanding jobs. I placed unreal expectations on those girls to become my everything. Not surprisingly, none of them were able to meet those expectations, which in turn caused more bickering, backstabbing and cat fights in the streets of Denver.

But something good came out of being a heinous, unrealistic, demanding bitch. I realized that when I let people be themselves and offer what they want in friendship it becomes clear who's fake and who's real. I also stopped being a heinous, unrealistic demanding bitch.

Today I have three groups of girlfriends that I love dearly and all for very different reasons. They get me, support me and love me, and I think that's what I was going for when I created goal #20. I don't fight with these girls, there's no backstabbing and to the utter disappointment of our husbands, there's no cat fighting. When I look around at the important role they play in my life and how much better they make it, I know I'm ready to cross this one off the list.

-B